Shaping Of Spirit Norman Oetker .. English Class Reynosa Mae Hong Son Thailand Mexico St. Charles Missouri Hmong Missionary The Shaping of My Spirit.

  Shaping MEO L.A.M. Norman Oetker Missionary "The Light Amidst the Mong/MEO" Hmong Thailand, Reynosa Mexico, English Class, St. Charles Missouri US.


CONTACT:  October 2009




  • Medicine for the  Mind, and Heart, and One’s Spirit.

My Mind, Has Experienced a Profound Change, my Heart was strengthen, and is now stronger, my Spirit was stabilized by another’s Spirit, that being, the Holy Spirit of God.

Eventually things could and would be accomplished in my life, by what was to take place, through these recent past events.

The Thoughts Of My Mind, the Agonies of My Heart , and the Renewal of My Spirit, by the experiences I’m going to share below.

I have left out some names and places, but for the most part this is how things happened while in St. Charles Missouri.

Love, gentleness and kindness to all.

  • Norman Oetker Missionary Thailand Mae Hong Son

2008 Reynosa Mexico



  • Norman Oetker Missionary…Troy is the pastor that I asked, to help me during  my spiritual experiences, at this time in my life, for I had many concerns to say the least. At this posting, of this web site page in October 2008, Pastor Troy is still in this spiritual relationship with me.

My life has been forever blessed and strengthen, with His continual Spiritual support during these events, and also, during another tragic time, that being my divorce.

Perhaps, this was the worst intense emotional tragedy I have ever faced in my life, as  a Missionary, I had been devastated to say the least, by the divorce. I then thought things where coming to some sort of normalcy in my life, and then these events that I’m sharing below happened. God Knows.

My Mind, Heart and Spirit renewing.


  • Hi Troy, God’s blessing to you and yours and everyone at Messenger.

I would like to give you and update about Sandy.

I had first meet Sandy in July a year ago, at the prayer group in which my friends asked me to come.

It was only until the time of my divorce, that we began to talked to each other about establishing a relationship, my Mind, Heart and Spirit was lifted.

In just a short time, a miracle happened that was as dramatic, as the parting of the Red Sea. And it was, that one day while at my computer, I was thinking about the conversations, that Sandy and I had had.

I shared about my life with my family, and the calling as a Missionary to Thailand in the Mae Hong Son area.

She shared about her life, in St. Charles Missouri, and as I thought about these things then and afterwards, I could not see, this way or that way, in regards to how our relationship was to work.

And why was it so important to me, to understand? It seem just about every time, that I was around her I could not think straight, or if I wanted to say something, I would stumble around like a two year old and be in a cold sweat about it, but if I only saw her across a room, that in itself was worth it.

So as I sat there at my computer, I realized that I had fallen in love with her.

And I said to myself ‘ oh, no what am I going to do now.’

That was a miracle for me from God, for I truly believed, that I could never love again and it be real.

Sandy, she is totally different in every aspect, and at the core of her life was that she loved ‘Jesus’ more than life itself. As a Missionary I was blessed.

My Mind, Heart and Spirit were lifted.

  • In St. Charles Missouri  in April, she found out that her back pain was from two compressed fractures of her spine and two fractured ribs, the doctor said it was a hormone imbalance, and gave her the things to build and replenish her bone mineral content, the doctor said twice, that there was NO bone cancer.

It was then that she asked me to fix a couple things at her house, when I arrived she was on the couch and was unable to get up, her back was hurting her to bad, she had crawled to the bathroom.

Her 80 year old parents where there, but unable to help her, she was in severe pain, she asked me if I would stay and help her, she was really scared, or she was going to have to go to the hospital, I said sure, for the next three days I stayed.

I knew she needed care, because of the extreme pain, that I had suffered when  I had my crippling back injury. I knew all those signs and Sandy was displaying all of them.I made a pallet in front of her couch and slept there and waited on her.

As a Missionary to Mae Hong Son Thailand while on a return in the states, I had been paralyzed on the left side from the waist down from a work accident and I remembered exactly, the pain and suffering, that I had experienced.

I was 100 percent disabled through Social Security for 7 years.

In St. Charles Missouri, I had ben trained as male orderly when I was younger, I was able to help Sandy in everything, from teaching her how to row over, sit, and get up and out of bed by herself.

From that time on, I came to her house each day to help her, some days she was unable to get out of bed, other days she could go out for a couple hours, she tried to work also, she was part time at St. Charles Missouri Community College, she had been there for about five years.


In St. Charles Missouri she went to the doctor twice after that, and I was with her each time.

July, I asked Sandy to get blood work done, that was on a Monday July 11.

Thursday the 14th she was admitted to the hospital. Complete bone x-rays where performed from head to foot, blood work, CT scan’s, Bone scan’s, a Bone Marrow extraction, and after that, she was given two units of blood.

Since April, she had lost 31 pounds.

She asked me to be with her there at the hospital, the nurses supplied a fold out bed in her room.

  • Norman Oetker Missionary note Oct 08… as a Christian Missionary my Mind, Heart and Spirit were all for thinking, that God has His perfect Plan working even during all of this.

Our return to Mae Hong Son Thailand was as real to me then, as it is now.


June 20th was Sandy’s 56 birthday, in her room, at St. Joseph, in St. Charles Missouri, where gathered three of her adult children with their wife’s and friends, her mom and dad and grand kids.

  • The Doctor Came in and Announced the results of the blood work from the lab, in which all were waiting.

He stated she had a incurable cancer, that it was very rare and that it had advanced very rapidly. He wanted her to go to Barnes and be seen at Siteman Cancer Institute the next day in St. Louis, then the following day to start Chemotherapy in St. Charles Missouri.

He left the room, all where saddened at that bombshell, Sandy wanted to continue with the birthday party there in her room, we all sang happy birthday, when the cake was cut, the sparkle in the grand kids eyes was the only joy.

  • Norman added Oct 08... ( Norman Oetker my Mind, Heart and Spirit continued in one accord that day, believing that God would raise her up. As a Missionary, working in Thailand and the States, I had to continue to believe that my life up until this time, was with a firm belief in God’s power to accomplish all, just when I thought things were changing in my life I was crushed again.

  • I could not understand the why or purpose, on the outside to some, I might have seemed saddened and distraught, but truly my heart was stripped bare. After these events the real Missionary Norman Oetker was revealed to me, and I guess, it is easy now to say, that I simply gave up in God, I could not tell others, but inside I had a giant hole in my life, part of my life was removed, not just by this event which I described here, but by the divorce also.



Added October 2008, the bolded and all caps text below.

  • Missionary Norman Oetker The Journey of Faith, for the "Lord is Faithful," for "He Will Never Leave, Nor Forsake You."

Reynosa Mexico










  • The Birthday Balloon Floated in the Air Easily, undisturbed by the life changing statement just previously voiced by the senior cancer doctor, who in thirty years of practice had never actually seen this type of blood/bone cancer, he stated later, that in the national record there where only a couple of case papers only on this type.

The next day sitting with Sandy at the Siteman Cancer center at Barnes, in St. Louis Mo. this senior cancer specialist was going over her blood work notes that they had done, since our arrival that morning. He was saying a lot to us, but I guess I could say it came in five parts.

  • First, if nothing was done she would have weeks for survival.

  • Second, she would need to get through chemotherapy for the next two or three months.

  • Third, there was a very serious type of stem cell bone marrow transplant that could be tried from her siblings if there was a match.

This type of transplant is only done when there is no other option.

  • Fourth, Sandy’s insurance will have to give the ok for this type of transplant to be performed.

  • Fifth, this doctor said there is a 20 to 30 percent chance of a cure if the transplant works.


Norman Oetker… added Oct 08  My Mind, Heart and Spirit, my whole Missionary experience, from living in the Himalayan Mountains, to Mae Hong Son Thailand and other South East Asian Cities, being there, half way around the world, everything was so different and yet I adjusted.

Now In This Doctor’s Room, I was in a another real experience, however, I was unprepared, I was handicapped, I could not process this. I could only realize that this was in fact, a very dangerous valley for Sandy to go through. I just keep thinking, God wants me to be with her, and help in every way, that she/we will get through this, and will have a great life together serving our Lord later.

God Brought This "Christian Lady" into my life, to bless her and me, and to show me, that He can Heal the Broken Heart, somehow God will come through.


Sandy Needs a Lot of Care at This Time, her immune system is very low. I offered to her, to stay with me at this time, I had a two bedroom apartment here in St. Charles Missouri. She is very weak, after having a family meeting she let them know her wishes.

Her children will have keys to the apartment, so that they can be with her at anytime day or night.

Sandy’s first four day set of chemotherapy is over today, Sunday the 26th. The next set will begin, after a four day recuperation period.

Since she is with me, it is very difficult for some to understand being not married yet.

I will be turning in my ministerial credentials.

Troy, please continue to pray for us here in St. Charles Missouri.

In Christ

  • Norman Oetker Missionary


Hi Troy, glad to get your mail. I kind of thought you were out of town, vacation etc.

The convention must have been exciting at different parts, were there any major changes or surprises? I would have liked being there.

Sandy is here with me, most of the time she is in bed sleeping, they have double her pain medication, she has finished her second round of Chemotherapy, there has been very little change.

She now has four compressed fractures in her spine and her ribs or a problem also, a enlarged liver, gall bladder, spleen and a mass in her stomach.

Sandy had said so neatly the other day, that "she will be healed," or "she’s going to Heaven."

  • Troy, I Thought Our Lives Were Going Towards a New Start in many ways, including the work and calling, the return and continuation to the mission work in Mae Hong Son Thailand.

Sandy is most definitely in my life at this time in my Mind, Heart and Spirit and her care, and concerns are a priority to me.

The Insurance has approved a bone marrow transplant ,from her brothers or sister if there is a match.

Sandy will need to get through a couple months of chemotherapy first.

Troy, we need a miracle, if she get’s through chemotherapy, there is only a 20 to 30 percent chance of survival from this type of transplant.

Please have her on your prayer list, this news all started on June 20th.

We have set up a medical fund to help with her medical bills at UMB bank.

Troy pray for me also, for strength and faith also the general contractor who I was working for as a sub contractor doing various finishing work is going out of business. I’m not working and need to find something.

Troy, thanks a lot for always pushing me in  "life’s huge sea" toward the light house, and that being ‘JESUS.’

God’s Got a Plan Working.

Love Norm and Sandy


From: Troy

To: Norman Oetker <>

>Subject: Troy

>Date: Tue, 5 Jul 2005 08:37:31 -0700 (PDT)


>Hi Norm,

>I would first like to apologize for the delay in

>response to your last email.I was out of town for a

>few days for the ………… convention in Dallas.Though my

>response is delayed I have been praying for Sandy.I

>hope the therapy is going ok. I will continue in

>prayer for her and if you would like I can notify our

>prayer chain as well as bring her need before the

>congregation in prayer.Please write back and let me

>know how things are going.


>God Bless,



Hey Troy, thanks for the reply, Sandy’s last name is …………

Sandy’s family are not involved in any church, there has always been family problems.

July 7, The family has now really taken charge of Sandy’s life, they have not liked the ideal of their mom being taken care of, and her needs being meet by me.

It is really a very sad situation, you think they would want their mom to be somewhat happy during this time, however they have made their mom choose.

Everything is very difficult for Sandy now, the pain medication is now doubled, and I know that it has and is affecting her and her thinking. I have explained that this is not what I want, however it is not getting through at this time. Her son’s have picked up all of her things here at my apartment, they are very kind and polite along with her mom and dad.

Troy, I know that God has good and perfect ways. HE wants me to have those things which bring into my life righteous, peace and joy also.

Troy, you are a witness for the Lord, you are very real, your love and devotion to Jesus is very real in your life and that has help me during this very difficult time.

This is again, a very difficult time for me.

Please pray for Sandy and her healing and then for me also.

God bless you guy.



Hi Troy, I would like to asked for prayer for Sandy again.

July 17

I have been to the St. Joseph hospital this morning here in St. Charles Missouri, Sandy was admitted with Kidney and Liver failure on Friday, this morning she is in and out of it, however she kiss me and told me she loved me and then asked me to let her go to Jesus.

Troy, I just don’t know what to do, think, react or what. God will have to do something, for me to survive all of this, I am thankful for Sandy’s sake, that very soon she will be healed or she won’t be here to suffer any longer, but to be in that heavenly city.


  • Norman Oetker

Sunday July 17, after church I thought a lot about what had been said to me that Sunday morning the 17th, by Sandy, at the hospital, she said after she gave me a kiss, that she loved me and to let her go to Jesus, we prayed together and I left.

After Messenger’s evening service Sunday the 17th I took my time going back to St. Charles Missouri, for I wanted to speak to Sandy one last time in private, for I figured that at 10pm all would be gone. On arrival I saw that the room was full with her family, they were all waiting for her to die.

I asked the son how she was and he said she is just hanging on.

You could hear a needle falling through the air, it was so very, very quiet in that room.

I leaned over her bed and told her who I was and said, I love you baby doll and I want you to go to heaven and be with Jesus.

I said I will be with you one day, I love you and left the room.

Later that night a little before 3 am I awoke and I just knew she was gone.

The next morning I found it very difficult to go the hospital, I knew she was gone but not really sure, I was trying to be prepared for what I might face.

I entered the floor, and there was the male nurse that had worked with us before, he is and was so kind.

I asked him about her death and the medication that they gave her to ease the suffering, she did not feel anything and awoke in heaven. It all happened a little before 3 in the morning he said.

Sandy’s Family Had Left Sandy’s Pillow and the nurse asked if I wanted to take it. This pillow was a kind of joke between us, for she slept with it to ease her pain, in her fractured spine and ribs, the joke was about this being her security pillow.

I asked the family for the pillow, now when I hold it, it brings a peaceful comfort to me, I guess you could say ‘a little security.’

Sandy’s family called and said they would let me know her arrangements.

I’m just kind of numb now.

The 19th of July Sandy’s mom called and thank me for taking care of her and she apologized for the way the last week turn out.

Sandy went to Heaven the 18th of July, the funeral was the 20th and she was buried the 21st.

I Cannot Even Begin To Tell You the Pain, Grief and Agony at Her Lost In My Life.

I thought I had been destroyed by the divorce, but God brought Sandy into my life. She now is in the place we all want to be.

I have weep so much that it is difficult to go places for I had taken her everywhere.

I find tears will flow anyplace at any time, the ‘Why’ question is there always.

The Lord is so real now, so when you pray, pray for me, but more important, as Sandy wanted her family to be involved with God and His Christ, please pray for them.




Update August 21, Mary Kay and I have been on a couple picnics, we both loved Sandy, we really enjoy each other. There is laughter again, a sense of the ‘why’ is moved to be blessed.

To all that read this, it is love, gentleness, kindness, humility, forgiveness, that was brought down from the third heaven, flowing with mercy, grace and love to my spirit, which changed my heart and mind, so that, what I desired could be and that was righteousness, peace and joy. ….Norm



  • Norman Oetker Missionary

The Calling Remains on My Life As A Missionary To the Hmong in Thailand Mae Hong Son and South East Asia And other Continents.


Mountain Mae Hongson

  • Mae Hong Son Thailand area




  • Norman Oetker Missionary October 2008

The Shaping of My Mind, Heart, and Spirit.


  • Norman Oetker English Class Reynosa Mexico, Missionary Mae Hong Son Thailand Hmong.


E-mail address for Missionary Norman Oetker is

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